Over the last few years, as I have explored my law of attraction journey, I quickly realised that I fell into the category of being a perfectionist. Let me tell you now, this realisation has been life changing for me. I have learnt so much about myself, how I operate and how to overcome some of the common things I experience as a perfectionist. One of my major traits as a perfectionist is being addicted to being behind! Sounds crazy right? How can anyone be addicted to being behind, overwhelmed and stressed? Me! That’s who, and I am sure that if you are reading this blog post then you might be experiencing this addiction too.
Let’s start by exploring what a perfectionist is. A perfectionist is someone who has a personality that strives for flawlessness. This is often accomplished through fixating on imperfections, trying to control situations, working hard, or being critical of yourself or others.
So many perfectionists experience an addiction to being behind especially when it comes to business. We are so comfortable with feeling inadequate that we subconsciously create a reality where we are behind so that we can continue to feel inadequate. It makes sense right? But don’t worry, if you can be conscious and aware that this is happening then you will be able to pull yourself out of it.
As perfectionists we use being behind as a distraction. If we feel behind, we get to avoid doing scary things because we are so busy and overwhelmed that we don’t have enough time to do it. It isn’t just scary things that you could be avoiding, it could also be those tedious tasks. You're too busy working out what to focus on and what to prioritise that you don’t have time to do the task you are avoiding.
I do this regularly, I will make myself so busy and constantly tell myself that I will do that task that I am avoiding next. It’s next on my list, right after I have tidied the room. No seriously I will do it once I have put the washing on. Ok well my friend just turned up so I guess I will do that task after they have left. They’ve left now but I need to get my lunch ready for work tomorrow so I will just do that and then I will do the task. Well its quite late now and I have to be up early so I should go to bed but I will get up early tomorrow and do it before work. Its 6am and I am just so exhausted because have been so busy over the weekend that I can’t get up early but it’s fine because I will do that job when I get home from work. Do you see what is happening?
Alongside this comes the days where we have great motivation, and have productive days. We have our to do list and we start ticking things off. But we are feeling motivated right so we need to make the most of it? So let me just add some more jobs to my to do list and once I have got down my list THEN I will do that task. News flash - the to do list never ends! Your to do list on your ‘day off’ is now so long that you feel overwhelmed and…you guessed it..behind! So there is no way you can do that task now when you are so far behind on your to do list right? You must do the jobs on your to do list first, every single one of them, before the scary one that has been on your to do list for 6 months.
Do any of these delays tactics resonate with you? If so, then you are probably addicted to being behind!
So you’re probably wondering how you overcome this addiction. Well the good news is, you can overcome it and learn to manage it better by following the steps below;
- Ask yourself what task you are moving from week to week? Take note as to why you are delaying completing this task.
- Schedule in time in your diary to complete the task, no excuses. Treat that task with as much priority as everything else in your list. One thing I like to do when I am planning things in my diary is to ask myself how much I would be prepared to pay somebody to do that task for me - how much time would I assign them to do it? Whatever the answer is to this, hold yourself accountable and give yourself the same time limit!
- Go through your diary at the end of the week and make a note of things that you intended on doing but didn’t do. Go through the list and make a note of WHY you didn’t achieve that task this week. This will hopefully allow you to see trends and patterns in your behaviour and once you can do this, you can learn how to overcome them.
Before I began exploring the concept of perfectionism, I had no idea that I was always subconsciously creating a feeling of being behind. As soon as I learnt about this I was blown away as I instantly recognised this behaviour in myself. Through being aware of this, I am now able to note when it is happening and try and interrupt the process.
It might not even be a task that you are putting off, it might be an idea in the back of your mind that you keep moving from week to week to week. For me for example, I have been thinking about starting The Diary of a Manifestor for over two years. I delayed this for two years. I have ensured that I was overwhelmed and behind with tasks every single day for two years. I haven’t had enough time for two years. THIS ISN’T TRUE. I have had ample time during those two years where I could have got started, but I put the task off because it was much more comfortable to put it off than to do it.
You need to feel safe with being on top of everything, being organised and following through with your plans. Once you master this, you’ll have conquered your addiction to being behind.